Peanut Bag
by hannahbanana616
Summary: Okay, I'm not abandoning "Density", but I've had this idea for a while now (longer than the one for my first story) and I had to get it out. It's a SBOC, with LEJP later on (much later on). If you liked my first story (and even if you didn't), you should
1. Author's Note

A/N: Okay, so like I said before, I'm not abandoning 'Density', but I've had a really long dry spell with it, but this idea was, like, _haunting _me, so I had to get it out. _Please _review, flames are welcome (but they have to be constructive. It can't be anything like "I hate you. I hate your story. I hate you and your story." If you don't like something tell me how to fix it.) And with that, I'm going to get this story on the road.


	2. Prologue

**Prologue**

In the more adolescent years of my life, I have come to notice that most stories start with _"Once upon a time, far far away"_, which disturbs me somewhat, as I have always thought of fictional stories as a writer's way of escaping the real world's standards of exceptional work. You and I both know that when every story starts the same, every story has the same climax, and every story has the same morals and values, the stories _become _the same, and lose every trace of individuality. You may have noticed that society has been welcoming stories with more risqué dialogue and settings as of late, which would usually give you the idea that these tales was differentiate in some way, but no such luck. Now, authors can't even find unique _names _for their main characters. It's always "Elizabeth" this and "Henry" that. I mean, COME ON! Get a baby-name dictionary or something!

That's why, in the story that I am preparing to bestow upon your unfortunate souls, there will be _no _weak knees, _no _stomach-dwelling butterflies, and most certainly, NO ELIZABETHs! And do you know _why _I am so sure that this story will be so anti-cliché? Because, my dears, this story is real, this story is true, and this story is _mine_...


	3. Beautiful Bird

**lilred-07**: Thanx. Hope you like this...

* * *

**Beautiful Birds**

Keegan Michael Callahan (most generally known as 'Mike') was what every teenage girl had in mind when they say the term "heart throb". He had straight, black hair, fathomless black eyes, and extremely fair skin.

He had just graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and was walking down an alley in his hometown of east Dublin when he heard a feminine cry come from behind a nearby dumpster. After walking around it to get a better look, he set eyes on what he thought was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It was a girl – no, strike that, a woman – with long, strawberry blonde hair and gently tanned skin. _She's an angel, _a voice in his head said in awe. _She's a muggle, _another voice, which sounded remarkably like his father, replied.

Pushing the voices aside, Mike spoke.

"Now, what's a beautiful bird like you doing in a place like this?" he questioned, in what he hoped was a sincere tone. The woman looked up, startled, and stared at him with the most beautiful brown eyes (although currently rimmed with red) he had ever seen.

"Excuse me?" she sniffed, caught completely off-guard.

"Mike Callahan," Mike said, disregarding her question altogether.

"Ava Brenner," she replied.

"Well, Ava Brenner, you look like you could use some help."


	4. Junior

**THANKS:**

**xxxsapphireteraxxx**: My chapters are gonna get longer eventually. Right now it's really choppy because I have to introduce a whole lot of people before I get to the main character.

**Messed-upMadness**: Thanks!

**gamegeek2**: here you go...

**theQuibbleringQuibblerer**: I like your screenname

**je suis une pizza**: Muchas gracias

**lilred-07**: Poor Ava. She's in _way _over her head.

**Junior**

_March 16th, 1948 (9 months later)_

_Mike's Point of View_

"MIKE CALLAHAN, YOU ARE NEVER TOUCHING ME AGAIN!"

_'I know what you're thinking, and yes, that _is _Ava Brenner. Well, Ava Callahan, now. We got married in August, after she was notified of That's right, I got her pregnant. I can remember that day so well, too. "...Looks like you need some help...". Yeah, a lot of help _I _was. Merlin, what was I thinking?! So anyway, she found out she was pregnant at the end of August, and her immediate reaction was to get married as soon as possible. But you and I both know that couldn't happen. Not yet, anyway. After all, she still wasn't aware of _my _condition. So I calmly explained to her that not only could I do magic _inside_ the bedroom, but outside aswell. I thought she was going to have a heart attack. So here I am, in the hall of St. Mungo's, while my wife gives birth to my first child. I hope it's not a muggle. Naturaly, I have nothing against them, but it must blow to be one._

"Mr. Callahan?" I looked up to see the origin of the voice that broke me out of my reverie. It was Healer Armstrong. "You can come see your wife now."

I almost didn't go in, until I heard the unmistakable cry of a baby.

"Hey," I whispered to Ava, brushing the damp hair off her forehead.

"It's a boy," she replied with a small smile. "They're washing him off, now."

"What're we going to name him," I asked.

"Keegan Michael Callahan, Jr.," she instantly replied.

I chuckled quietly. "Been giving it much thought?"

"30 hours of labor, Mike. _30._"


	5. I Won't Be Home For Christmas

**I Won't Be Home For Christmas**

_December 20th, 1959_

_Ava's Point of View_

I sighed to myself as we exited the courtroom. Mike and I had just gotten divorced and I was granted custody of our kids. That's right, _kids. _With an "s". More than one. Plural. In the past 10 years we've had 8 kids, and I'm currently 5 ½ months pregnant with twins. Twins! So in April, I'll be up to 10 kids, who only go and spend the day with their father on birthdays and holidays. Why don't I pick you up to speed on all my children (A/N: Ugh, I hate that show.) We've got Keegan, Nicholas, Dylan, Kyle, Matthew, Jacob, Bailey, and Benjamin Callahan, and the twins (who I expect to be boys) are soon-to-be Caine and David Brenner-Callahan. Heaven help me. And they all look exactly like me. They have Mike's build, but they all have my eyes and my hair. My mum always said they are like little carbon copies of me, right down to their lack of magic.

"Mum, are you alright?" my oldest asked.

"Yeah, Keegan, I'm fine."

"We'll all help out, I promise."

"You're not going to ship us off to Grandmum's, are you?" Kyle asked.

"Now, you all know I wanted guardianship of the eight of you more than anything in the world."

"What's guardianship?" They all asked simultaneously (although five or six of them butchered the world horrendously).

"Never you mind. Come on, let's go."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, here's a list of all the children and their birthdays:

Keegan Michael Callahan, Jr: March 16th, 1948

Nicholas Corey Callahan: May 19th, 1950

Dylan Riley Callahan: January 4th, 1952

Kyle Henry Callahan: July 14th, 1953

Matthew Louis Callahan: August 12th, 1954

Jacob Alexander Callahan: February 5th, 1956

Bailey Donald Callahan: June 26th , 1957

Caine and David Brenner-Callahan: Unknown (Well, _I _know, but I'm not telling yet)


	6. It's a what?

**It's a...what?**

_April 2nd, 1960 _

_About 12:30 am_

_Keegan's Point of View_

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" I bellowed to a room of overly-excited boys. I had just gotten a telephone call from my mum, telling me about my new siblings.

"As of April 1st, 1960, at 11:58 pm, you all received two new siblings. Caine David and Morgan Caroline Brenner-Callahan."

"Morgan Caroline?!" they asked concurrently.

"Morgan Caroline," I confirmed.

"Is that honestly the most masculine name Mum could think of?" Nick asked.

"No, you twat, it's a girl."

"A GIRL?!" they all asked, a little more scandalized than last time.

"A girl," I replied, completely exasperated at this point.

There was another bit of information about Morgan that I wasn't telling them, but I decided I should tell Dad first.

"Alright, now, everyone go up to bed, we can go see them in the morning," I said. Once they had all filed up the stairs, I dialed Dad's number. He got a phone installed at the flat he moved into when he moved out. He picked up before I even heard it ring.

"Hello!" he said urgently.

"Hi, Dad, it's Keegan."

"Hey, Keeg. Is your mum done yet?"

"Yeah, she just called a couple minutes ago."

"How long was she in labor?"

"She said 46 hours, but I don't even think so. She didn't even sound like she knew what year it was when I talked to her." I heard him give a mirthful snort at the other end of the phone.

"Did she stick with Caine and David?" he asked.

"Actually, that's what I was calling to tell you. The older twin's name is Caine David, and the younger one is..."

"What? Oh no! Did something happen to the second one? Something happened, didn't it?! I'll be right over there –"

"Dad, calm down! Everything's fine, no reason to go into cardiac arrest. I was calling to tell you that the younger twin is a girl." There was silence at the other end of the phone line.

"Dad?"

"A girl?"

"Yeah."

"What's her name?"

"Morgan Caroline."

"That's a good name."

"Yeah. Oh, and Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"She's a witch."


End file.
